Birthday Dinner + Yonanas

Pin It For VB's birthday, I made him dinner comprised of dishes that he had mentioned that he'd like to try. So the mix is a bit... eclectic.

First up, we have a vegan mac n' cheese from Yeah, That "Vegan" Shit. I have to say, I'm not sure that there will ever be a vegan mac n' cheese that's going to come remotely close to the real deal, because real mac n' cheese is incomparably awesome. That said, this vegan mac n' cheese was good for what it is -- good for vegans, lousy for meat eaters.

We also had some ful muddamas from midEATS. You can sort of see it next to the dolmades (more on that later). By the way, did you know it's next to impossible to find some dried or canned fava beans around here? Seriously, I had to go to 4 stores and finally found them at Rose International Market, our local Middle Eastern market. I ended up adapting the recipes using dried fava beans -- turned out alright, a bit al dente but flavorful and pretty good.

Finally, I made some dolmades after we bought a jar of grape leaves at the farmer's market. I need a bit of practice wrapping the grape leaves tighter, but this turned out totally delicious -- by far the best item of the night. The recipe came from Tyler Florance (I know...) and it is a winner, if not a bit time consuming.

For dessert, we tried "frozen yogurt" made by Yonanas 902 Ice Cream Treat Maker. It's a bit of a misnomer, because technically, Yonanas makes mushed up frozen yogurt out of bananas. It's a pretty cool idea -- it grinds frozen bananas and other fruit into a mixture that has the texture and consistency of frozen yogurt. VB and I were both stunned that the product looks just like frozen yogurt. However, the product can turn a bit slimy (like mushed up bananas) after the mixture melts a little.

As for the taste, we added some frozen peaches and raspberries to the mixture. But this product is definitely for the banana lover in you, because even though it looks just like frozen yogurt, it still tastes like bananas. Also, I think there were some human errors involved -- the product required ripe bananas and mine were not quite as ripe. I wonder if I had riper bananas, the end result would be sweeter and of a better mouth feel and consistency. That means, we have to try this one again sometime soon! With ripe bananas, next time. I do think that this can potentially be a great product for vegans and others who want to enjoy a frozen treat without dairy or artificial products.

Harmony Valley Vegetarian Hamburger Mix

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Whenever VB goes to Whole Foods without me, he comes back with very interesting things to try. This was something that he picked up on one such trip. Harmony Valley Vegetarian Hamburger Mix is a very unique fake meat product. Unlike other fake meat crumbles, this product came dry in a pouch, making it shelf stable. That means it can be stored in the pantry at room temperature -- a big plus for those short on fridge space. Unfortunately, it also looks suspiciously like fish food. Or bath salt. You can decide for yourself.

Dry mix.

Prior to cooking, the dry mix must rehydrate in cold water for at least 15 minutes. Then, it is pan fried until browned.

Re-hydrated mix

For those who are used to flavored crumbles like soyrizo, one key way that this product is different is that it's unseasoned. One pouch is equivalent to 1 pound of ground beef. So while making any recipe, you have to be aware that you need to add enough seasonings to flavor about 1 pound of meat. If you don't like the seasonings already added to products like soyrizo, this can be a good alternative for you.

Browned hamburger mix.

I find the hamburger mix to be very crumbly. It does not hold together by itself. To make my taquitos (more to come on that later), I had to mix in some refried beans in order to get the mixture to hold together without falling apart. The hamburger mix has the telltale texture of fake meat -- a bit springy and mushy. By itself, it tastes unmistakably like fake meat with a slight hint of soy. But when all mixed together and baked into taquitos, I couldn't taste the soy flavor anymore. I do like the fact that you can flavor this any way you want -- with this product, you wouldn't be stuck with all the spices that came in the package.

Taste: 3 out of 5 stars
Texture: 3 out of 5 stars
Overall: 3 out of 5 stars

In A Nut Shell: If you try to have this hamburger mix as is, you will be disappointed by how bland and boring it is. But, if you season it well with spices and herbs, this can be a very versatile product.

Tofurky Roast

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We've had Tofurky Roast before but I never bothered with a review. So here is my belated review on a popular alternative to turkey on Thanksgiving.

I have to preface this review by saying that generally I'm a bit freaked out by Tofurky. I've had a lot of fake meat but I never had this reaction to any other fake meat product. Not sure why, but I guess the thought of building a butterball turkey breast out of powder and liquid weirds me out. I made fake turkey before and was mildly disturbed by the process of turning bags of random powder from Whole Foods into something that bore a fairly strong resemblance to meat. It's all mad science/magic that I don't quite understand.

We got only the Tofurky roast instead of the Tofurky Feast, which includes the butterball and other sides. Personally, I like the butterball only option. I didn't like the sides that the package came with last year. Besides, making the sides is half the fun of the Thanksgiving meal. In any event, we cooked our little butterball of magic according to its package instruction and got this beautiful Thanksgiving dinner out of it.

Obviously VB plated our pre-Thanksgiving meal. I wouldn't have bothered with cloth napkins.

When you slice cooked Tofurky open, you'll see that it's stuffed with a wild rice stuffing, which, in my opinion, is the best part of Tofurky. The wild rice adds a chewy texture and nutty flavor to the dense bread stuffing. As for the "meat" part of the Tofurky, I think it's a bit more dense and springy than real turkey, but the taste is pretty similar... especially after you've slathered on the gravy and cranberry relish. Of course, it helps that turkey is not the most distinctive tasting meat, especially the breast part.

Taste: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Texture: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Overall: 4 out of 5 stars

In a Nut Shell: Still the best meatless alternative for Thanksgiving.

Sophie's Kitchen Breaded Vegan Shrimp

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Believe it or not, Sophie's Kitchen Breaded Vegan Shrimp is not the first vegetarian shrimp product that I've had. I think the tricky thing with fake shrimp products is the texture. Shrimp has that weird texture naturally that is difficult to imitate. I'm not sure that any fake shrimp product can ever come close to the real thing. But Sophie's Kitchen Breaded Vegan Shrimp is an interesting attempt at an dairy-free and soy-free imitation shrimp. This is made in Taiwan (yay!) with konjac. For those who are not familiar with konjac, it is a starchy root that solidifies into choking hazard jelly that ends up in various sweet tea and fruit drinks. It has a slightly crunchy texture that is just a bit firmer than jello. In Taiwan, konjac gets turned into various different kinds of fake seafood, including fake sashimi (of all the things that you think would be impossible to imitate...).

The jelly texture is really not similar to shrimp at all, but once the clever folks at Sophie's Kitchen breaded these crescent shaped konjac jelly, you don't notice the difference in texture as much. That said, no one can really confuse this with the real deal. But in the end, I didn't really mind them, especially after dipping them into cocktail sauce. As for the taste, you guessed it, it didn't taste like shrimp... or much of anything else for that matter.

Taste: 1 out of 5 stars
Texture: 2.5 out of 5 stars
Overall: 2 out of 5 stars

In A Nut Shell: It doesn't get high marks for similarity to real shrimp, but it didn't taste bad. I rather enjoyed it, actually. But I definitely wouldn't mistake it for real shrimp, which I'm sure is a good thing to some vegetarians out there.

Dr. Praeger's All American Burger

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Finally, a veggie burger review that I'm more than happy to share! Dr. Praeger's All American Burger is probably -- no, definitely -- the best veggie burger that I've tasted. I got these on sale at Whole Foods one day. Without knowing anything about it, I thought I'd give it a try, you know, as "research" for this blog feature.

I made a grilled patty melt with Dr. Praeger's All American Burger and some soy cheese. You can see that the patties are thick and the texture is dense. I grilled these and they did not fall apart on me. Unlike many veggie burgers, the instructions ask that you heat up these frozen patties in a pan, not in a microwave. However, we did nuke them once and they turned out fine.

It's tasty and has a texture that's very very similar to slightly dry beef patties. I think with enough condiments and cheese, you may be able to fool some meat eaters into thinking that they're eating beef patties that are a bit overcooked. The taste is meaty with no trace of soy flavor -- always a bonus. 

You can find these veggie burgers and nutritional information here.

Taste: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Texture: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Overall: 4.5 out of 5 stars

In A Nut Shell: This is one of the best veggie burgers on the market. Consider adding this to your barbeque next time as a meat alternative and see if anyone even notices the switch.

Morning Star Farms Chik Patties Original

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I've noticed that fake meat manufacturers try to get cute with mock chicken products. They call it "chick", "chik", "chick'n" to distinguish their fake chicken from the real deal. But no one is getting cute with beef or pork  -- it's not "moo'f" or "oinker." Why is that??

All musings aside, here, we have Morning Star Farms Chik Patties Original. This is the first fake chicken product that I've ever tried. Turns out, it's not half bad. The patties are breaded in the style of chicken nuggets or chicken tenders. Relatively mild, this tastes faintly like chicken. Actually, it tastes like chicken nuggets, which is to say, not real chicken. The outside crust is nice and crunchy. The inside texture is chewy and stringy -- again, like gray and tough chicken nuggets, not real white chicken meat. At least the patties are pretty thin, so you don't notice the texture as much.

So. It is "chicken" like chicken nuggets are "chicken." However, it is relatively inoffensive -- not outright gross or weird. As far as similarities to chicken nuggets go, this is a great imitation of chicken nuggets. Unfortunately, chicken nuggets are poor imitations of real chicken.

Taste: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Texture: 2 out of 5 stars (when compared to real chicken)
Overall: 3 out of 5 stars

In A Nutshell: Not bad, not great -- it's inoffensive as far as fake meat goes. But it's also bland and a bit boring. In that respect, it is a bit like real chicken sandwich patties.

Trader Joe's Soy Chorizo

Pin It VB and I have been hit with sudden urges to eat a lot of Mexican food since we came back from our trip. So, I made some tamales with soy chorizo and black beans to curb those cravings (more to come on that later). It's nice to take a break from Chinese food for awhile -- not too much in common between Chinese food and Mexican food besides that they sometimes share the same strip mall. This also gives me a chance to review Trader Joe's Soy Chorizo -- yet another fake meat offering by Trader Joe's.

I like Trader Joe's Soy Chorizo. Like El Burrito's Soyrizo, the product is encased in a plastic casing. So, unlike real sausages, slicing soy chorizo up is not an option. Instead, you must squeeze the product out of its casing. It's meant to be a substitute of loose sausage meat. Compared to Soyrizo, Trader Joe's version is chunkier with looser bits. The texture is less like meat, in my opinion, than Soyrizo because real sausage meat tend to stick together a bit more. Since it is chunkier, it can be a bit chewy in a bad, fake-meaty sort of way.

As for the taste, Trader Joe's Soy Chorizo is nicely flavored with lots of spices, which mask that awful soy taste in many fake meat products. You can taste the soy a little bit, but it's not very noticeable.

Texture: 3 out of 5 stars
Taste: 4 out of 5 stars
Overall: 3.5 out of 5 stars

In A Nut Shell: I like El Burrito's Soyrizo better, but this isn't bad. It's a nice and less greasy substitute for the real deal.

Here are some recipes ideas for Trader Joe's Soy Chorizo -- black bean chorizo tamales, Caribbean rice and beans (and soy chorizo), taquitos and vegan jambalaya.

Rodeo Burger + Eating Right Soy Protein Burger

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I have to admit that working 8 hours a day plus a 3+ hour commute doesn't leave me a ton of sleep or time to cook. There are days that I can't muster enough energy to make dinner. It's at then that I'm thankful for a freezer full of veggie burgers. VB likes to jazz his burger up in the fashion of Burger King's famous Rodeo Burger by adding onion rings and barbeque sauce. It is definitely a tasty combination.

This brings me to the next installment of product review, where I eat fake meat and tell you if it resembles the real deal. Today, we have Eating Right Soy Protein Burger. This has to be one of the most disgusting veggie burgers that I've ever eaten. The texture is that of wet saw dust -- grainy and tough. Worse yet, it also tastes like wet saw dust but with a very strong soy flavor that even the cheese, onion rings and barbeque sauce cannot mask. Overall, not much to write home about except just to AVOID it. Just say no. Don't do it. You're better off eating that moldy apple in the fridge. Or a stick of butter with some hot sauce. Or mix some pickles with mayonnaise. Really, just about anything is better than this.

Texture: 1 out of 5 stars
Taste: 1 out of 5 stars (I'm feeling charitable today)
Overall: 1 out of 5 stars

In A Nut Shell: If you lost your taste buds in some tragic accident, then this is the veggie burger for you.

Fajitas + Trader Joe's Chicken-less and Beef-less Strips

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This is my standard I-really-don't-have-time-to-cook-and-all-the-restaurants-are-closed-and-there's-no-way-I-will-eat-more-pizza-or-bad-Chinese-delivery dish. It's really pretty simple -- slice up one onion, one green bell pepper, one red bell pepper, one jalapeno pepper, add some mock chicken (or beef) strips and some salsa. Voila! Fajitas!

It brings us to the second installment of the product review feature, where I eat fake meat and tell you just how they taste. Some are good, some are okay, others are just downright inedible. For our fajitas, I used Trader Joe's Chicken-less Strips and Beef-less Strips. These meat-less strips are mushy when compared to meat -- there is no density, chewiness or "meaty-ness" in these strips. The texture is all wrong and not at all similar to meat. But appearance-wise, these strips can fool you into thinking they are the real deal if you're not looking closely. If you bite into a strip, you can see that the cross section looks similar to the muscles in real meat.

Taste is where these strips really fail to emulate meat. Before you ask, there is no significant difference in taste between the two products. If there is, then I'm sorry because my palate is not sophisticated enough to discern those subtleties. There are some red pepper flakes that are packaged in with the strips, but the strips are pretty bland and don't taste like either chicken or beef. But they don't taste like soy either, which is a big bonus. Spicy salsa is a good condiment to add to this product because it provides flavor that this product clearly lacks.

Texture: 3.5 out of 5 stars
Taste: 3 out of 5 stars
Overall: 3 out of 5 stars

In A Nut Shell: Meh. Not horrible, but not awesome. It's edible with some spicy salsa.

Sausage and Mushroom Pizza + New Blog Feature!

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VB's birthday week continues with pizza, his all-time favorite. Pizza is pretty much the only food that keeps him from giving up dairy, because, let's face it, soy cheese tastes pretty gross. I have yet to taste a soy cheese that's a good enough substitute for dairy cheese.

While we're on the subject of soy products, over the last couple of years, I have sampled various 'meatless' meat replacement products like veggie sausages, soy hot dogs, chicken-less chicken strips, tofurkey and the like. I don't like them for two reasons. First, I'm generally averse to frozen or processed composite food (meatless or otherwise) -- if at all possible, I like to cook my food from fresh ingredients so I know exactly what's on my plate. Second, these imitation meat products generally taste artificial, bland, mushy, or chewy. The vast majority of the products out there do not remotely taste like meat, or worst yet, taste like anything from nature.

Even though I don't like them, I have (begrudgingly) come to accept that they are important to a vegetarian diet and good for days when we're hungry and short on time.

So from now on, I will occasionally post my reviews of these imitation meat or cheese products. I will comment on their overall taste, texture and resemblance to meat. I guess I'm uniquely situated for this task since I regularly eat meat -- VB hasn't had meat in 9 (or 10, 11?) years; the taste of meat is probably a distant memory to him.

(photo courtesy of Food Frenzy and Adventures in Fake Meat)

To start off this new feature, today, I'm reviewing Trader Joe's Italian Sausage-less Sausage, which went on our sausage mushroom pizza. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. I prepared the sausage according to package instruction -- by microwaving on high for 1 minute and 30 seconds. I sampled the sausage twice, both as-is and on the pizza. The texture was spot on -- not too mushy or too firm and very similar to medium cooked meat sausage. There was no casing on the sausage, so in that sense, it was dissimilar to a real sausage.

I thought it tasted pretty good as-is. It has a faint soy aftertaste, but not terribly obvious from the first bite that it's not meat. Despite being labeled as Italian sausage, it wasn't very spicy. It was notably bland on the pizza -- the flavors were overpowered by all the other ingredients.

Texture: 5 out of 5 stars
Taste: 4 out of 5 stars
Overall: 4.5 out of 5 stars

In A Nut Shell: As I ate it, I actually wondered if I accidentally bought meat sausages. I don't mind this on my pizza and I would certainly repurchase it.